Serienzitate aus Two and a half Men (Seite 2)
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Serienzitate aus Two and a half Men


Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Alan: 'Look, if you feel so strongly about this girl, why don't you just call her?'
Charlie: 'Yeah, sure, I could call her. I could also Fed-Ex her my testicles in a little silk bag.'
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Lord. You blessed me with a lot: more money than I know what to do with, a beautiful home, and a surprisingly resilient liver. You have truly given unto me with both hands, which brings me to my request.

Of all the gifts yo've bestowed upon me, none are a greater testament to your glory than Chelsea's heavenly breasts. I don't know why you couldn't have thrown in a sturdy spine so she could tote those things around, but who am I to question your methods?

Anyway, you probably know that she's thinking about tampering with your great work, and I was just hoping that you could, you know that, talk to her, return her to the path of righteousness and bodaciousness. Amen.

Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Let us consider the hummingbird, Alan. Or the butterfly. All of God's creature are perfect just the way He made them. Except you. You suck.

Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Charlie: 'Alan, you're like an Alzheimer's victim in a whore-house.'
Alan: 'Excuse me?'
Charlie: 'You're constantly surprised when you've been screwed - and you don't want to pay for it!'
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Zitat von Alan Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D Cup Latte, please!

Zitat von Alan Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 9 Episode 4 (Serienzitat)

Walden: 'Let this be a warning to you, Alan. There're women out there, that will be nice to you, just to get to your money.'
Alan: 'Thanks, but that's not very high on my list of concerns.'
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Zitat von Alan Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 9 Episode 4 (Serienzitat)

Lindsey: 'You're tall, good looking, very successful. Believe me, women settle for a lot less!'
Alan: 'And thank god for that!'
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Zitat von Alan Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 9 Episode 1 (Serienzitat)

Walden: 'Money does not buy happiness!'
Alan: 'I wouldn't know, I never had either.'
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Zitat von Alan Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 9 Episode 1 (Serienzitat)

I could sprinkle you on the beach. It's simple, it's dignified and pretty girls covered with oil will be sitting on you all day. And like your life, except for the dignified part.

Zitat von Alan Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 9 Episode 1 (Serienzitat)

I know what you said you wanted, but I really dont think Pamela Anderson will agree to swallow your ashes.
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Zitat von Alan Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 9 Episode 1 (Serienzitat)

[talking to Charlie's urn] Here we are, buddy. Just like old times, I'm talking and you're in a bottle, ignoring me.
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Charlie: 'Wenn ich deine Meinung hören will, frag ich deine Exfrau.'
Alan: 'Ach ja? Und wenn ich deine Meinung hören will, frag ich eine der vielen Frauen mit denen du bedeutungslosen Sex gehabt hast.'
Charlie: 'Autsch!'
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Zitat von Berta aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 3 Episode 13 (Serienzitat)

Charlie: 'Heute wird's schön. Leicht bewölkt, aber das gibt sich in ein paar Stunden und wir erleben einen weiteren Sonnentag im Paradies.'
Berta: 'Sind Sie noch von gestern betrunken oder haben sie schon nachgekippt?'
Charlie: 'Looks to be a beautiful day. Slightly overcast, but that should burn off in a few hours, leaving us with another sun-dappled afternoon in paradise.'
Berta: 'You still drunk from last night, or did you get a fresh buzz this morning?'
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 3 Episode 17 (Serienzitat)

Charlie: 'Bei seinen Noten kann er sich schon mal daran gewöhnen Einkaufswagen zu schieben.'
Alan: 'Du denkst mein Sohn endet in einem Supermarkt?'
Charlie: 'Nein, ich meinte als Obdachloser.'
Charlie: 'With his grades, he might as well get used to pushing shopping carts around.'
Alan: 'Are you saying my son's gonna end up working in a supermarket?'
Charlie: 'No, I'm saying he's probably gonna end up homeless.'
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Alan: 'Wie ist es mit 'ner Frau zu schlafen deren IQ so hoch ist, wie ihr Alter?'
Charlie: 'Ich könnte dich das gleiche fragen.'
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Charlie: 'Frisch gepresster Orangensaft.'
Alan: 'Wirklich?'
Charlie: 'Ja, steht auf der Flasche!'
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men in Staffel 1 Episode 1 (Serienzitat)

Jake: 'Man! Dein Auge ist vielleicht rot.'
Charlie: 'Und von hier drinnen erst.'
Jake: 'Boy! Is your eye red.'
Charlie: 'You should see it from in here.'
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Alan: 'You'll go to mom's funeral, won't you Charlie?'
Charlie: 'Of course! As the eldest son, it's my duty to pound the last stake into her heart.'

Zitat von Jake Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Jake: 'We had a surprise test today.'
Alan: 'And?'
Jake: 'I was really surprised.'
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Zitat von Charlie Harper aus Two and a half Men (Serienzitat)

Charlie: 'Oh never again, never again.'
Berta: 'You gonna stop drinking?'
Charlie: 'Are you crazy, I'm gonna stop waking up!'
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