Larry Bloom: 'Are we at least gonna talk about other options?'
Piper Chapman: 'You mean...'
Larry Bloom: 'It's not Voldemort, you can say it. Abortion.'
Or I look single, 34 and single, which must mean there's something wrong with me. Like, you keep large reptiles in tanks, or I have a very special relationship with my mother.0
Well, I'm just gonna go jerk off then. For the 500th time today.0
Guard: 'Inmate, step away from the machine.'
Larry: 'He just called you 'inmate'.'
Guard: 'You too, sir.'