Larry Bloom: 'Piper, you put a pee stick in my rinsing cup.'
Piper Chapman: 'Well, you put your pee stick in my vagina. And that's why we're in this situation.'
Sam Healy: 'It's popular fiction. It's like global warming or female ejaculation.'
Piper: 'No! No. No, it's not. This is real.'
Sam Healy: 'How is it real? Wait, which?'
Piper: 'The chicken. And the... the chicken.'
Honey, don't you think the little rocks would hurt your nose, if you're trying to snort crack? I think you mean coke.0
Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.0
Oh my God, Larry, by the time I get out, there will've been like three new generations of iPhones!0