'Will you be my friend?'
Siri: 'That's nice! I'd like to be your friend.'
'Now I'm sleepy.'
Siri: 'Listen to me, [name]. Put down this iPhone right now and take a nap. I'll wait here.'
'What do you want for christmas?'
Siri: 'I try to be satisfied with what I have, [name].'
'What do you look like?'
Siri: 'In the cloud, no one cares what you look like.'
'Tell ma a joke!'
Siri: 'Two iPhones walk into a bar... I forget the rest.'
'What's the meaning of life?'
Siri: 'I don't know. But I think there's an app for that.'
'What are you wearing?'
Siri: 'Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?'
'Ich liebe dich.'
Siri: 'Ich hoffe du sagst das nicht auch zu allen anderen Mobiltelefonen.'
'I love you.'
Siri: 'I hope you don't say that to those other mobile phones.'
'Wo kommst du her?'
Siri: 'Es steht doch auf dem Karton - ich wurde von Apple in Kalifornien entwickelt.
'Who made you?'
Siri: 'Like it says on the box - I was designed by Apple in California.'
'Wie heißt du?'
Siri: 'Mein Name ist Siri, aber das hast Du bereits gewusst.'
'What's your name?'
Siri: 'My name is Siri. But you knew that already.'
'Who's your daddy?'
Siri: 'You are. Can we get back to work now?'
'Tell me a joke!'
Siri: 'I can't. I always forget the punchline.'
'How old are you?'
Siri: 'I am not allowed to answer that question.'
'I'm going to kill myself.'
Siri: 'I found XX mental health agencies. YY of them are fairly close to you.'
'What is the meaning of life?'
Siri: 'I can't answer that right now, but give me some very long time to write a play in which nothing happens.'
'Will you marry me?'
Siri: 'My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.'