Zitate von @WillyFerrell

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Zitat von @WillyFerrell

Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

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Zitat von @WillyFerrell

When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.

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I got 99 cookies cause a bitch ate one.

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Next time you feel a sneeze comnig on, yell out 'PIKA!' right before the sneeze.

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Rearrange these words: 1) PNEIS 2) HTIELR 3) NGGERI 4) BUTTSXE... Did you read: Spine, lither, ginger and subtext? Naughy Naughty.

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My Bed and I are deeply in love. It's obvious my Alarm Clock is jealous.

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If I had Morgan Freeman's voice I would sit in a corner and talk to myself for days.

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I guess wearing head phones and not speaking doesn't really signal 'Fuck Off' well enough to some people.

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I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

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I never let my children watch big band performances on TV. Too much sax and violins.

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I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect', So my computer just tells me when I forget.

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Dear life, When I said 'can my day get any worse' it was a theorical question not a challenge.

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I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in bitches...

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Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed ball till she died.

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I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they fuck up I wil just hit them all at once.

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x² y 8 [(x 2y ² = a-z] 2x ³ (- 2z = 2. 4) 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9. x...Yeah, I still cant remember one time this helped me in life.

Mathematik, Schule
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Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.

Lachen
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I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.

Geld
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The biggest lie I tell myself is, 'I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.'

Erinnerung
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Every girl deserves to be treated like a princess, except hoes.

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Can't spell STUPID without U right in the middle.

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I got banned from Barnes and Noble today for moving all the 'Caution - Wet Floor' signs to the '50 Shades of Grey' shelf.

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Bitches or not, 99 problems is still a shitload of problems.

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I blame everyone for my problems. Except Shaggy, because we all know it wasn't him.

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Drunk people are the only honest ones left.

Alkohol
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